Yes. My first love, when I was almost too young to understand what love even was. We were 13, and he was, for a time, my best friend. You've described the feeling perfectly. I, too, have grown used to this other person who inhabits my heart, and it also hasn't stopped me from romantic entanglements later on in life. While the person does still exist, THAT person (the young man of my youth) does not. For that matter, that young woman who was me then does not exist now either, at least outside of myself. Time has changed us both, but there will always be a part of me that is inhabited by that boy and that love. There will always be that bit of poignancy inside where he (and the younger me) live.
Hi Shanna, my story is slightly different. My first love was returned but then he couldn't hack it! Afraid of his own feelings, why do they say women are the weaker sex? We seem to be able to deal with our emotions much better! Then a year and a half later, he tells me he loves me! A bit late in the day, he was younger than me but even younger upstairs if you know what I mean! I moved on eventually and met someone else. My first love and I worked at the same place, I left, one, to move on and two, the company were struggling and I thought now's the time to go! I went to a party a few months later and he was there, thought he'd only got to click his fingers and I'd come back but I'd moved on and was happy again! I never forgot him though and he always had a place in my heart, well you do when it was your first true love! I found out he died five years ago this Saturday, only in his 50s! I still remember every year and think about what might have been. he will always be there in my heart, this lodger. Take care Shanna, great live by Andrew last night! Speak soon! xxx
You “crushed it”, pun intended, with these words. In today’s share-all era, I find myself increasingly defending the value of secrets— the ones we locked in journals and will take to our graves. I am glad you are tending to yours. It is enough to know you have them. And I relate, whole heartedly, to living with the ghosts of love unlived.
You know, I HAVE had unrequited loves before. But I think that it was the growing experience that was moist poignant about it. Now, I could have convinced myself that I would never make it to his "class" - and I tried that a few times. But with most of them, I realize now that they weren't the one. Sure, My heart beat, and my pulse quickened. I think, now, as I look back, that it was more a case of hormones and desire rather than unrequited love. I learned that, as I pined for those men who would never love me, well, not in the way that I wanted, I needed to keep moving forward. Had I kept them on that shelf in my heart, I could never keep going to where I needed to be. I know that sounds cold, and it was harder than it sounds now. But what bout those other, unrequited, sleepless night, puppy dog eyed loves? They sit in a place of fondness, because they were part of that journey that I needed to take to get to me. And when I finally found me. I found him.
Yes I have been very lucky to have a few (3) loves like this. All 3 have been in my life for a very , very long time. I think the longest is over 25 yrs. All 3 were in my life full time when I needed them to be and as time moved on so did the distance between us eventually each of us moving on with life without the other. I believe there is still some sort of love but now after all these years it is some different type of love that is meant for only us.
It is ok because the 3 of them each hold a piece of my heart that can never belong to anyone else. We are all still great friends just as we were when our lives were intertwined so many years ago in fact they all still keep in touch with me and truth is I can not imagine my life without them in it.
The love I hold inside of me for each of them is unmatched. This hurts no doubt and in my case it has gotten in the way but I do live my life to the fullest each and everyday. One thing I do know is that no love will ever match what I have had with each of these individuals it just won't. So with that being said I will go on living and if the universe decides to allow one of these loves to fully step back into my life on a more permeate basis it will be a glorious thing indeed.
Great read this week Shanna thanks for sharing your inner most feelings on such a topic. As I was writing my story here I had a lovely smile on my face and in my heart because the memories are many..
An interesting post for the year of love, or the lovers, 2022. (2,2,2=6, the number of love.)
Yes, I pined for a lost love from college back in the day. Did not care for it. Was painful.
When he finally resurfaced I was relieved to learn that he had become a raging alcoholic and drug addict and that I was better off without him. The longing and pining was over!
From this and other errant relationships I have learned the value of detachment. ;)
May this year bring us all fulfillment and our hearts desires!
Yes. My first love, when I was almost too young to understand what love even was. We were 13, and he was, for a time, my best friend. You've described the feeling perfectly. I, too, have grown used to this other person who inhabits my heart, and it also hasn't stopped me from romantic entanglements later on in life. While the person does still exist, THAT person (the young man of my youth) does not. For that matter, that young woman who was me then does not exist now either, at least outside of myself. Time has changed us both, but there will always be a part of me that is inhabited by that boy and that love. There will always be that bit of poignancy inside where he (and the younger me) live.
Hi Shanna, my story is slightly different. My first love was returned but then he couldn't hack it! Afraid of his own feelings, why do they say women are the weaker sex? We seem to be able to deal with our emotions much better! Then a year and a half later, he tells me he loves me! A bit late in the day, he was younger than me but even younger upstairs if you know what I mean! I moved on eventually and met someone else. My first love and I worked at the same place, I left, one, to move on and two, the company were struggling and I thought now's the time to go! I went to a party a few months later and he was there, thought he'd only got to click his fingers and I'd come back but I'd moved on and was happy again! I never forgot him though and he always had a place in my heart, well you do when it was your first true love! I found out he died five years ago this Saturday, only in his 50s! I still remember every year and think about what might have been. he will always be there in my heart, this lodger. Take care Shanna, great live by Andrew last night! Speak soon! xxx
Thank you Shanna for another thought provoking read.
For sure!
Thanks Shanna - a really interesting post and one that’s got me thinking.
You “crushed it”, pun intended, with these words. In today’s share-all era, I find myself increasingly defending the value of secrets— the ones we locked in journals and will take to our graves. I am glad you are tending to yours. It is enough to know you have them. And I relate, whole heartedly, to living with the ghosts of love unlived.
You know, I HAVE had unrequited loves before. But I think that it was the growing experience that was moist poignant about it. Now, I could have convinced myself that I would never make it to his "class" - and I tried that a few times. But with most of them, I realize now that they weren't the one. Sure, My heart beat, and my pulse quickened. I think, now, as I look back, that it was more a case of hormones and desire rather than unrequited love. I learned that, as I pined for those men who would never love me, well, not in the way that I wanted, I needed to keep moving forward. Had I kept them on that shelf in my heart, I could never keep going to where I needed to be. I know that sounds cold, and it was harder than it sounds now. But what bout those other, unrequited, sleepless night, puppy dog eyed loves? They sit in a place of fondness, because they were part of that journey that I needed to take to get to me. And when I finally found me. I found him.
Yes I have been very lucky to have a few (3) loves like this. All 3 have been in my life for a very , very long time. I think the longest is over 25 yrs. All 3 were in my life full time when I needed them to be and as time moved on so did the distance between us eventually each of us moving on with life without the other. I believe there is still some sort of love but now after all these years it is some different type of love that is meant for only us.
It is ok because the 3 of them each hold a piece of my heart that can never belong to anyone else. We are all still great friends just as we were when our lives were intertwined so many years ago in fact they all still keep in touch with me and truth is I can not imagine my life without them in it.
The love I hold inside of me for each of them is unmatched. This hurts no doubt and in my case it has gotten in the way but I do live my life to the fullest each and everyday. One thing I do know is that no love will ever match what I have had with each of these individuals it just won't. So with that being said I will go on living and if the universe decides to allow one of these loves to fully step back into my life on a more permeate basis it will be a glorious thing indeed.
Great read this week Shanna thanks for sharing your inner most feelings on such a topic. As I was writing my story here I had a lovely smile on my face and in my heart because the memories are many..
“Tall and cuter, as is characteristic” !!!
An interesting post for the year of love, or the lovers, 2022. (2,2,2=6, the number of love.)
Yes, I pined for a lost love from college back in the day. Did not care for it. Was painful.
When he finally resurfaced I was relieved to learn that he had become a raging alcoholic and drug addict and that I was better off without him. The longing and pining was over!
From this and other errant relationships I have learned the value of detachment. ;)
May this year bring us all fulfillment and our hearts desires!
I can really identify with this, Shanna.