How Do You Refuel?

and does it involve chocolate?

I have a friend who used to host parties at her home and would feel sad and lonely when the last guest finally left.

I never felt that way and it was hard for me to understand. About an hour into the party, I was ready for everyone to go—though I might have been having a good time. 

FOMO v. JOMO

I’m not motivated by FOMO. I’m more of a JOMO, or Joy of Missing Out, kind of gal. In my younger days, I was always sure there was someplace better to be then where I was, even if I happened to be in a cool spot doing an enjoyable thing. 

There are many types of social anxieties, and the fear of missing out is one of them. I’m glad it’s not mine, because that’s a miserable state in which to to be—you can never be in all the places when you have FOMO, so the anxiety just multiplies. 

For those who are afraid that better times, lives, and activities are going on around them, how do they, I wonder, recharge? 

How does one revive when exhausted—especially faced by a smorgasbord of things all of which could never be done, experienced, or witnessed by one human in a day/week/lifetime? 

If you have FOMO, how do you refuel? How do you top up your depleted batteries? Or do you reenergize through the activities and attention you give to things you could be doing but are not due to time, location, or other constraints? Is the seeking what gives you the juice to keep going? I’m curious—tell me below, if you’d like. 

I believe there’s a strong connection between social extroversion and FOMO, and that social introverts tend toward JOMO. No, social introverts are not shy, unfriendly, or awkward (okay, sometimes); we restore our energy by being and doing things alone or maybe with one other similarly-inclined human. 

How I Refuel

If you’ve been reading my newsletter and essays for a while, you know that I tend to favor the quieter pursuits. Walking, spending time in nature (something I haven’t had the opportunity to do in a while), reading, writing, meditation, cooking, making collages, and listening to podcasts.

I’m not sporty, and exercise as an isolated activity for its own sake is not something that excites me. I enjoy movement in a general and regular way—walking, as mentioned above, yoga, and solo coronavirus confinement dance parties. And because I rely on my feet for transportation, I log about five miles a day or more. 

The preferences I mention above are ways I refuel, but it’s funny because they are also just my daily life activities. 

So, I wonder, can the way I live be the same way I revive? Or does there need to be something else, something different from the ordinary daily activities that give me energy when I’m low? 

An activity that gives me a boost and is not a part of my daily routine right now, is napping. If I snooze for 20-25 minutes, I usually feel better for having done so. I don’t know why I haven’t made this a regular activity, but maybe I’ll do a little experiment next week and see how it goes.

Friends Are Fuel!

I love to refuel with a close friend or two. To share in a conversation of depth and substance and to laugh at the absurdities of life. Although in-person time is limited and rare these days, I’m fortunate to have weekly calls and daily texts and voice messages with a few best friends. These connections are lifelines; they feed me and keep me going—and I hope I do the same for them, too! 

At The End of The Day

Lately, I’ve been concluding my day with a cup of hot cocoa, candles, and a chill jazz or downtempo ambient soundtrack (see below) to signal completion of my workday. 

This might sound boring, and maybe even a little sad, but I assure you it’s not. In the past that beverage would have been a glass of wine or two, but I pass on the alcohol these days. This simple evening ritual is a nice way to wind down and allow my mental activity to subside to a dull roar. 

Refuel, How do You? 

What are the ways you bring yourself back to you? 

Do you have anything new you do that grew out of these pandemic times? Do you find it hard to revitalize your body, mind, and spirit even though we seemingly have more down time courtesy of COVID-19? 

GOOD LINKS

• From Muji, Pleasant, Somehow (5 very short films of people cleaning, and it is, pleasant, somehow)

• R.I.P. Productivity from Jocelyn K. Glei’s Hurry Slowly podcast (check out her book Unsubscribe, too)

• This story from Pro Publica is worth your time. The Climate Crisis Is Worse Than You Can Imagine. Here’s What Happens If You Try "A climate scientist spent years trying to get people to pay attention to the disaster ahead. His wife is exhausted. His older son thinks there’s no future. And nobody but him will use the outdoor toilet he built to shrink his carbon footprint."

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