2023: The Mistress of Big Life Changes
read on, you'll see I'm not kidding
life: examined is a compendium of ideas, thoughts, and questions about living a creative, intentional life—written to you from my perch in Portugal.
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Oh, 2023. Wow.
I don't shy away from change; I prefer change and the inherent discomforts that go with it to stagnating in my comfort zone.
I love to learn new things, be inspired, and have my assumptions challenged; a good change of scenery, whether a physical, mental, or emotional one, usually does that.
Over the past several years, most have included significant life changes, yet 2023 outdid herself in this department.
2023 delivered changes I couldn't have predicted and will go down as the wow-what-the-heck-just-happened-is-it-over-and-can-I-come-out-yet year.
So Many Things in 2023
Here are a few highlights from 2023 to catch you up and explain why I've been so quiet around here.
January:
After going steady (okay, that sounds super antique, but that's what it was—dating doesn't capture it) for three months (although we knew one another for more than a year at that point), C and I took a trip to California to visit my mom and brother.
Getting to the west coast of the U.S. from Portugal is grueling, but pair that with a new relationship and one of the partners being very sick, and you'll get a delicious platter of what were we thinking?!
Despite the obstacles, all went well—my mom and brother liked C, and we were lucky to have a few days with my best gal-pal, Tammy, who came to San Diego to see us.
February:
I. Turned. 60. Sixty years old.
I'm finally getting used to it, and then next month, that number will change again. Never mind—having birthdays sure beats the alternative!
Committed to traveling more, especially now that I have a +1, C, and I set out for a birthday trip to Madrid and Córdoba. We had a great time, that is, if we don't talk about trying to navigate our way around town using map apps…
March:
Highlights were numerous medical appointments. We've become those people.
April:
We took a quick trip to nearby Sesimbra for a seaside weekend. That was fun. And we had lots of lunch & coffee dates with friends (this is a theme throughout the year).
We also went to Tomar, Portugal. As it turns out, we're not big fans of conquests, castles, or knights—Templar, or otherwise. The trip's highlight was taking Milo with us (he did great on the train).
The terrace at the apartment where we stayed offered a view of the castle so we didn't need to visit; we could just gaze upon its stony fortitude in the warm spring evening.
May & June:
Off to Spain again. This time to Madrid and Valencia.
Madrid has become our hub since we travel by bus and train whenever possible. Madrid is well connected and the rail system is excellent. Despite our best efforts to be unimpressed, we fell in love with Madrid and now look forward to visiting regularly.
Valencia was already way too hot and touristy for our tastes.
I was experiencing heat exhaustion in Valencia, which made me sick and cranky.
The best part of Valencia was sitting inside the apartment with the window open, looking outside (no view to speak of) and chatting. If it isn't apparent by now, we are avid extreme adventurers.
Oh, did I mention that C moved in this month?!
July:
A relatively quiet month. We'd hit our limit with travel—and didn't want to be out there during high season. But then August arrives, and we do it anyway…
August:
Sick of the heat and sick of getting heat-sick, we came up with a great idea!
Let's go to far northern Spain, where it's cool, green, and less traveled. Unless there's a heat wave when you arrive, that is. So, we take the overland equivalent of the slow boat to Madrid, then to Oviedo in Asturias via the sluggish choo-choo train (I’m pretty sure that’s the actual name).
Oviedo is picturesque and clean, with lots of public art.
Walking is a breeze along the wide rectangular pavers that make up the sidewalks—instead of the charming but deadly calçadas so common in Portugal.
The architecture is lovely, and although they have a dumb statue in homage to Woody Allen for filming parts of Vicky Cristina Barcelona there, it seemed like a pretty nice place.
I was sick, so I didn't see much of the town I hoped would offer refuge from the sweltering heat, but no such luck, anyway, with the heat wave in effect. It turns out our great idea was not so great after all.
September:
We went to Porto for a weekend and discussed making another visit to my family and C's friends in New Mexico.
And a really big thing happened in September—I retired!
I no longer have an income, which is proving to be a bit tricky. Maybe in a year or two I’ll claim early social security benefits—it’ll be a paltry sum, but it’s better than no sum at all!
October:
My body gives me lots of trouble.
I'm fatigued beyond the usual boundaries of tiredness. I’ve experienced this before, but it's been a long time. I have pain all over and I'm so freaking exhausted that some days I can barely get up from bed. Making a cup of coffee is a Sisyphean task.
Was it too much travel combined with the heat? Did someone siphon out all my blood? Perhaps my bones were replaced with concrete pillars resembling limbs because I sure as heck can't lift 'em.
Then I realized it was a visit from the patron saint of Fibromyalgia (I'm doing much better at this writing) bestowing his gifts upon me.
But October doesn't stop there, does she? Nooo!
C has surgery (all good), then a week later sort of proposes marriage to me. Perhaps the anesthesia still hasn't worn off, I think to myself.
Since we'll be in the States in a few weeks, we could take care of this pesky marriage business while we're there, C reasons. C urges me to think it over—no pressure—I have nearly two full weeks before we leave, so there is no rush. I agree with this uncharacteristically spontaneous idea and say yes!
C has a birthday this month, too.
November:
We started Portuguese language classes two nights a week, spent two weeks in the States, and got married. That's enough for a November, don't you think?
BTW, I'm a married woman as of 5 November 2023, if you're curious.
December:
Our language class follows the school year and is on a two-week holiday break, so we took advantage of the time off and spent a week-long holiday in Guimarães.
Guimarães is a medieval city in the north that's known as the "cradle or birthplace of Portugal." We took Milo with us and he loved every minute of it. This trip was one of the easiest we've taken all year, and it stands out as our favorite.
Whew!
So, that was my year in brief.
TL;DR1: We managed a fair amount of slow travel, taking our time in one place rather than buzzing from town to town, I retired from work, and we got married.
Next time, I'll tell you more about my word for 2024, which was born from the events of 2023, so stay tuned for that.
If you've read this far, please comment below so I know you did. And thanks!
PSA: 1 January was Sir Milo’s 13th birthday. I snapped this photo 3 days ago in the Santa Apolonia Station (Lisboa) after our trip to Guimarães. Such a handsome gent, don’t ya think?
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Until next time —> take care and be kind to one another—and thank you for being a part of the life: examined community.
too long; didn't read
Congratulations on your marriage!! I enjoy reading about your adventures. Milo is a handsome being. My husband (Dale) and I are seriously considering relocating from the States (Maine) to Setabal with our three year-old "puppy dog" named Daisy. We will be in Setabal this coming May (2024) for a week or two to check out the city Hopefully, we all can meet and have coffee (we will buy!) .
Congratulations for your various achievements. I must say I was a bit distressed over the long silence. I have been following your story for some time. You're sort of a stranger, but a familiar stranger. No, that's not right. To me you're more of a character in a novel that has slowly absorbed me. So I was glad to see that you were back on your feet. I guess I've felt a certain kinship since I, too, left the U.S. a few years ago to resettle in Porto (with wife, dogs, and cats). Yes, Milo is handsome.