life: examined is an invitation to get curious, a compendium of ideas, thoughts, and questions about living a creative, intentional life.
—> Thank you for your support.
Last year mid-pandemic I took a six-week online poetry and collage workshop.
I wanted something to do that was creative and on a schedule as the days grew darker and colder, the sameness of the stay-at-home scenery starting to wear on me.
Poetry has always been my first word-ly love.
I've written for as long as I can remember; poetry first enchanted me when my age was still in the single digits. As I matured as a writer and human, my love for poetry was constant. But unfortunately, reading and writing poetry got buried under the shoulds and the striving I thought I was meant to do.
The Business of Writing
When I first started my business, people would ask me what kind of writing I did. I'd say, "Well, I'm a poet, but you can't make a living writing poetry, so I write grants for nonprofits and copy for businesses and entrepreneurs."
I did and still do good work for good people, but I always felt a little sad when I repeated that line about money and poetry.
I didn't want to make a living at being a poet; I wanted to read, write, and publish poetry—and not work a job-job. I admit, a patron would be lovely, but since I don't know any popes, kings, or moneyed people, I suppose I won't hold my breath for that fantasy to materialize.
Ye Olde Poet
It sounds pretentious and even antiquated to say I'm a poet, at least I imagine it does to others. But one of the many benefits of piling on the years is I don't give a pluck. It isn't ego-centered; I've little attachment to identity in that way. It just feels like a fact—like the fact that I'm short. No pride or shame; it just is.
Usually repelled by labels, I've decided to own the terms poet and collagist in service to my creative well-being. Collagist—that sounds super pompous, but I'm going with it!
For me, these designations convey the simplicity of the acts: I write poetry, and I make collages. And sometimes I smerge them together to make zines.
For the unfamiliar, a zine is a tiny magazine (see photos of my recent zine, below) that's self-made and typically published on a specific and/or often niche topic using paper, photos, and mixed media.
In my punk rock days, zines were the thing.
Zines, then, were about upcoming shows, or record and show reviews, and assorted bits of politics. I was on the cover of a zine, and I made several of them back then. This renewed love for zine-making is a bit nostalgic, although my subject is no longer punk rock.
Stake a Claim
I'm cozying up to these descriptors to bring consciousness and intention to my creative process.
Writer.
Poet.
Collage artist.
Yikes!
That list up there was scary to write and even scarier to consider publishing for you and others to see. But this is precisely what I need to do—name it and claim it.
Once again, my life is in transition, shifting in a way that only this move to Portugal could bring about.
Without constant financial pressures to make ends meet, I can align my outward actions more harmoniously with my values and interests. Prioritizing creative expression over my business isn't something I thought I'd be in the position to do, but now it’s happening.
I figured I'd have to bury the poet/artist under the weight of the spiraling housing, healthcare, and other costs of just surviving in the U.S. But the path has veered and I see a clearing ahead.
I'm balanced on the cusp of living as a writer/poet/collage-maker person, and I like it. I feel energized and alive!
Needs-Must
I still need to work, and I like much of what I do, so I'll keep on as long as I must. Developing projects like my Move to Portugal sessions (group sessions, soon, I promise!) and collaborating with others on their ideas is fun.
Living in Portugal gives me the space to try out new things without worrying about missing a rent payment.
Since my requirements for things, and money needed for things, is less, I work fewer hours a day and have time to create a studio habit.
Studio?
To be clear, my studio is my dining table.
Therefore, my collages are small in format by necessity and preference. I'm not interested in digital collage-making; I'm an analog girl. When I’m making collages and zines, I’m able to mute the mental chatter and engage with the tactile senses of cutting, positioning, and pasting.
Perhaps this variety of making is a minor diversion, not really worth mentioning, but it fills me with joy and contentment.
Minimal & Mixed Materials
The art materials I use are recycled.
Magazines, and other printed pieces are in short supply in my house. When I started the poetry and collage workshop, I had three brochures from local cultural events/exhibitions (all in Portuguese—a challenge when writing poetry in English).
Add tags, labels, flyers, and other random bits to the brochure collection, and that completes my art supplies. Even now, I own just three magazines. I want a few more magazines, but I also love the creativity born of constraint that this limited supply gives me. So I make do with what I have—and with satisfying results.
One day I might have a studio space. A small one would be nice.
I don't allow myself to dream, often, beyond just my needs. This propensity can make life a little drudge-like, and I'm ready to change that.
I'm ready to be that poet-artist old-lady-in-training living on the upper floor and blasting Patti Smith while assembling her latest creation on the balcony—with plants, coffee, and her dog for company.
I have a heady feeling this now/future is going to be fun!
GOOD LINKS (to incite your creativity):
Make Your Art No Matter What: Moving Beyond Creative Hurdles by Beth Pickens
The Creative Habit: Learn It and Use It for Life by Twyla Tharp
Favorite Portuguese to English Auto-Translation of the Week:
A comment on recent public road works:
But I'm going to the NET in the area where I live... next to the jail is the 3rd .. world .. sure .. You can't see the road. There's a huge crack. I'm waiting to see when a tragedy happens!
Thanks to these generous readers for their support:
Mai Ling, Eliza, Fran, Minimalisa, Hilary, Sande, Harriett, Bill, and anonymous humans for supporting life: examined through Buy Me a Coffee.
Although never expected, always appreciated!
Whether it's a coffee, a comment, alike, or a share—I'm grateful for your support!
Until next week—be well, get creative, and thanks for reading life: examined.
If you have a moment; look up the collage works and books of Nick Bantock: www.nickbantock.com; or on Instagram @nick_bantock_art… enjoy! Keep on paste’n, creating and writing!
Love the zine and collage work. (My Mom made some cool collages back in the day.)
Yup, writer, artist, musician. Well, used to be musician. Your ´don't give a pluck´ is extra funny for me since I am a retired professional harpist. :0! Am hoping to have a harp again someday soon.
I sold my gold concert harp so that we could come to Portugal.
Got you on the old lady in training, I am already there. Not too keen on it either. It is depressing watching yourself decompose in real time. Everyday closer to death is ok with me. ;)
Not an easy road being an artist either. You go girl!